Discovering Individual Needs and Preferences: The Inclusive Leader’s Guide to Personalised Support

When we’re leading a team, we’re in a very privileged position to find out about people’s needs and preferences and do something about them. We don’t have to guess what would make a work experience more inclusive and fulfilling – we can simply ask. Yet too often, we fall into the trap of assuming we know what people need without actually engaging them in conversation about it.

As inclusive leaders, we need to develop what I call “journalist curiosity” – the ability to ask meaningful questions that uncover the unique perspectives, needs, and preferences of each team member. This isn’t about being intrusive; it’s about creating space for authentic dialogue that enables us to adapt and support each person effectively.

The Power of Onboarding Conversations

Onboarding presents a special opportunity to get to know each other. It’s a time when both parties are naturally more open to sharing and learning. We can share our preferences and ask new hires about theirs, creating a foundation of mutual understanding from the very beginning.

Dora Mołodyńska-Küntzel suggests asking, “Is there anything you’d like to share about your background or experiences that can help me better understand your perspective and needs?” This question opens the door for people to share what’s relevant to them without feeling pressured to disclose more than they’re comfortable with.

I love the questions proposed by Tara Jaye Frank: “What does inclusion look like for you? When have you felt most included? What were the circumstances? When have you felt excluded? What were the circumstances?” These questions help us understand inclusion from each person’s unique perspective rather than making assumptions based on our own experiences.

It’s also crucial to ask by default which accommodations new team members need to perform their best. Many disabilities are invisible, and even with visible differences, only the person knows what’s best for them. By asking everyone the same questions, we normalise the conversation around accommodations and ensure no one feels singled out.

Making One-to-Ones Matter

One-to-ones are perfect opportunities for regular check-ins that go beyond project updates and performance discussions. These conversations are where we can truly connect with our team members as individuals and understand how we can better support them.

Powerful questions we can use include: “What are you up against?” “What are your concerns?” “What support do you need in this moment?” “How can I help overcome any challenges or barriers you’re facing at work?” “What would increase your sense of belonging?”

These questions signal that we care about more than just deliverables – we care about the person behind the work. They create opportunities for people to share challenges they might not otherwise mention, allowing us to provide targeted support.

The key is to ask these questions with genuine curiosity and be prepared to act on the responses. There’s nothing more damaging to trust than asking someone what they need and then failing to follow through.

Creating Connection in Team Settings

During team meetings, we can create dynamics that help team members know each other better and support each other. We can talk openly about our challengers and energisers, as suggested by Nadia Nagamootoo. This helps everyone understand what motivates and drains their colleagues, enabling better collaboration and support.

We can use icebreakers like the “Weather report” to describe our mood (sunny, rainy, cloudy, breezy, etc.). While these might seem simple, they create space for people to share how they’re feeling and signal that it’s safe to bring our whole selves to work.

These practices help build empathy and understanding within the team, creating a culture where people look out for each other and offer support when needed.

The Art of Asking Without Prying

There’s a delicate balance between showing genuine interest in our team members and being intrusive. Inclusion is not intrusion. The point is to find out about people’s perspectives, needs, and preferences so we can adapt to each other as much as possible and take corrective action where needed.

We can maintain this balance by:

• Asking open-ended questions that allow people to share what they’re comfortable sharing
• Respecting boundaries when people choose not to disclose certain information
• Focusing on work-related needs and preferences while acknowledging the whole person
• Following up on responses with action, not just sympathy
• Creating multiple opportunities for people to share, recognising that comfort levels change over time

Uncovering Hidden Needs

Sometimes the most important needs are the ones that aren’t immediately obvious. People might be struggling with issues they feel uncomfortable raising, or they might not even recognise that certain challenges could be addressed through workplace adjustments.

This is where our journalist curiosity becomes particularly valuable. By asking follow-up questions and paying attention to patterns in behaviour or performance, we can uncover needs that might otherwise remain hidden.

For example, if someone seems less engaged in morning meetings, it might be worth asking about their preferences for meeting timing. If someone appears stressed about travel requirements, we might explore whether there are alternative arrangements that could work better for them.

Building Trust Through Consistent Interest

The power of asking about individual needs and preferences isn’t just in the immediate answers we receive – it’s in the trust we build through consistent interest in our team members as individuals. When people see that we regularly check in, that we remember what they’ve shared, and that we take action based on their feedback, they become more willing to share openly.

This creates a positive cycle: the more we ask and act on what we learn, the more our team members trust us with information about their needs and preferences. This deeper understanding enables us to provide more targeted support and create more inclusive experiences for everyone.

Adapting Our Leadership Style

As we learn about individual needs and preferences, we can adapt our leadership style to better serve each team member. This might mean:

• Adjusting our communication style to match someone’s preferences
• Providing different types of feedback based on what motivates each person
• Offering varied opportunities for growth and development
• Recognising achievements in ways that matter to each individual
• Accommodating different working styles and preferences

This personalised approach to leadership doesn’t mean being inconsistent or unfair – it means being equitable by providing what each person needs to succeed.

The Long-term Impact

When we consistently ask about and act on individual needs and preferences, we create workplace cultures where people feel valued, understood, and supported. This leads to higher engagement, better performance, and stronger retention.

More importantly, it models inclusive behaviour for the entire organisation. When our team members see us taking genuine interest in their individual needs, they’re more likely to extend the same courtesy to their colleagues and direct reports.

This approach to leadership recognises that inclusion isn’t one-size-fits-all. By taking the time to understand each person’s unique circumstances, preferences, and needs, we create environments where everyone can thrive in their own way.

The investment in these conversations pays dividends in trust, engagement, and performance. When people feel seen and heard as individuals, they bring their best selves to work – and that benefits everyone.

Thanks for reading – Let’s keep shining the inclusion light together! ✨

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This article is an excerpt adapted from my upcoming book, Practising Inclusive Leadership.

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